The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
