on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
