I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
