Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
It's just like the Real World with babies
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
