saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
there is puke in my bra ... again
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