apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she peed on how many people?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
