Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
When are your genitals available?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
