Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
