We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
The beer is more important than you right now.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
