Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
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there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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