went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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