Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
