Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
