Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
