Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
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When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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