Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
