Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
