Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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