I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
