U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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