Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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