yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
