we're blogging at a bar
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
