Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
