Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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