Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize