Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
