1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
you would pick up someone in the library
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize