I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
