Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
