SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Help. Why am I so naked?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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