Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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