my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
