They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
