there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize