good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
