You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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