There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize