quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
operation have a gay friend backfired
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
