I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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