when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
