So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
