I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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