DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
