her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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