my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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