We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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