3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
