i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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