I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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