i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
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