ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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