i think my mom watched the whole time
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Randomize
