please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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