If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Are my feet made of real feet?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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