He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
When are your genitals available?
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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