i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
