Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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